First Christmas

We had a very nice Christmas for Ryan's first. We spent Christmas Eve at Uncle Jer and Aunt Teri's, and Christmas Day here. Ryan was a bit cranky yesterday so he slept for much of Christmas afternoon and strategically planned a nice long nap while we ate dinner.

We missed Grandma and Grandpa Brown on Christmas. They ended up staying in Colorado for the holiday because Grandma B. had a cold. Hopefully they will be able to come out in January for Ryan's baptism. They will not believe how big he has gotten!

Here is Grandma Dhein holding Ry, her favorite Christmas gift.

Tummy Time

Does this give you an idea of how Ryan feels about tummy time??!

Obsession

I have a new addiction!!! On Friday Keith and I signed on to Facebook in order to see photos of our friend's new baby. (Congrats Brian and Trista! Jackson Gilbert Caldwell...) I am obsessed! Over the past couple of days I have logged on too many times to see if I have any messages and to see if anyone has posted anything. It is quite an addiction. Although I don't want to speak for Keith, I think he is hooked too. This morning when I went to log on I felt sort of ashamed that I was getting on AGAIN...only to find out that Keith had already logged on and posted something!!! Maybe Ryan needs his own page....(KIDDING!)

On a proud front, I am happy to say that Ryan started sleeping in his big crib a week ago and it has been going wonderfully. He sleeps great in it, thank goodness, and trust me, we don't take that for granted! He is still getting up once per night which is just fine. Last night he went down at 7:20pm, woke at 1am for a bottle and then slept until 7:15am. Once we put him down for the night we don't hear from him unless he has broken free from his swaddle or it is time for his bottle. It is nice to have him in his crib. I thought it would be a more difficult transition for me but he is right next door and now we can lay in bed and watch TV at night instead of tiptoeing around our room. We are still working on naps. They are inconsistent which is normal at this age. I read that naps aren't routine until at least 3 months, and our pediatrician even said it could be up to 6 months. So when he is tired we put him down and usually he will sleep for at least 45 minutes, sometimes even close to 3 hours! If he takes a long morning nap like he did yesterday, the afternoons tend to be more difficult nap-wise. He will only dabble with them, like 30 minutes here and there. Then he turns a bit cranky! Last night it turned out okay, because we just put him to bed earlier and he went down easily. He was ready!

It is freezing in Chicago today; I think it is 0 degrees! I think we will hang out by the fire and get the house ready for Keith's parents, who arrive on Tuesday, and Christmas. I am excited about Christmas, but also getting hit with reality. Two weeks from tomorrow I have to go back to work and Christmas is just a reminder of that. I know I should be living in the present and not in the future, but I am going to miss Ryan tremendously during the day. I am pretty sure I will be able to go down to working 4 days per week which will help. I can't believe this phase is coming to a close! It goes by so fast.....

Mini Me!

Ry's expression is priceless. It is 100% Daddy's!

Twice as Fun

Yesterday Ryan and I went over to the St. Cyr's house to see their new twin girls, Kami and Lainey. The girls are absolutely beautiful and we had such fun! I love how we call these "play dates". Clearly the babies are pretty oblivious! (But way cute nonetheless).

Darcie and Adam tried to have a baby for many years before they turned to adoption. They were cautiously optimistic when they heard they had been chosen by a birth mom in Portland who was due in mid December. They were in shock when they got a call in mid November that the mother was in labor and that they should get on the next plane to Portland to be there!

Last spring they were chosen by a birth mother here in Illinois who was pregnant with a boy. They made all of the preparations, decorated the nursery and met the birth parents, only to have it fall through at the last minute. It was so heartbreaking for them and we all struggled to understand why such an amazing couple was being denied the role of parents.

Now that they have their girls it all makes sense. It was the "plan" all along! It is just another example of how prayers do get answered, but not always the way that we think. And sometimes the answer can exceed our expectations well beyond anything we could have ever imagined!

Seeing Darcie and Adam with the girls was so much fun. They are such naturals, and Darcie, who is the most organized person I have ever met, really seems to have it down. The bottles are lined up in the kitchen, ready to go, and she can even feed the girls at the same time! I am so happy for them. It seems like just yesterday that Darcie and I were sitting in the design office at Crate complaining about how badly we both wanted children! How quickly things can change!

Cuteness!

Here is a picture of our tired little guy, who actually fell asleep as I was swaddling him! He is wearing one of my favorite sleepers- it is covered in little monkeys.

Yesterday he responded just fine to his vaccinations. No fever or other reactions, just a very lethargic boy! He was so cuddly, and very open to napping all day in the crib! At the doctor he weighed in at 11 lbs 9oz (50th percentile) and measured 24 inches in length (85th percentile). We have one long and lean little guy.

I am also adding this pic of me holding Ry in the sling. I used it as I was preparing his bottle and it really relaxed him, so I decided to keep him in it as I fed him. Keith called it lazy...I call it quite clever!!!!

Couldn't Resist

some cute bath time pics!

Weekend Fun

Ryan had so much fun on Saturday with his "cousins" Brady, JT and Madeline. The kids are so into him- playing with him and caring for him- and Ryan does love the attention! He was full of smiles and coos for them too. In the morning we went to JT and Madeline's basketball game at the YMCA. They play on the kindergarten team at St. Joe's (where their mom, Sarah, and I went to grade school! We are so old! :) Then we went back to the Schallmoser's for some lunch and Wii playing. The Wii is so much fun; I think I might cave in and agree to getting one (of course Keith wants it) because it is not like the video games that we grew up with where you just sit in front of the TV and zone for hours at a time. Anyway, it was a great day and once Ryan is older he is going to love running around with the Schallmoser kids. I am sure he will look up to them and think they are way cool. We joke that someday Brady (who is 20 months) and Ryan are going to beg Madeline (6 yrs old) to buy them beer just like we did with our older siblings (just kidding mom and dad!). Oh, I am sure there will be stories....

Ry is 2 months old now and tomorrow he has his 2 month check up. He is going to have some vaccinations which we are not looking forward to. We hope he reacts okay to them and they don't turn him too sideways. He is holding his head up really well now and I must admit I am glad he is getting stronger and not such a fragile newborn anymore. He is cooing a lot and getting more interactive and each day is more and more fun with him. I want to eat him up! It is amazing watching him look around and absorb his surroundings as he learns and grows. Lately he has been trying to "find" his thumb; you can tell is is figuring out how to put his hand to his mouth in a controlled way so that he can get it! And his 3 month clothing that I have been waiting to try on him because they looked so big fit him now. Not only do they fit him; much of it will be outgrown in a matter of a week or two!

Since I am not working right now I never know what the date is. I looked at the calendar today and couldn't believe that it is already December 8th!! Where does the time go?! I really should be Christmas shopping right now but I keep putting it off. My family and I decided that we would keep this holiday season lighter than usual for obvious reasons. We are all OK with it. It takes pressure off of everyone. And as my Dad so perfectly put it, "Christmas is all about miracles, and ours came a little early this year." So true!! Here is a photo of my Dad with Ryan. Keith's parents will be in from Colorado for a few days over Christmas so everyone will be together, which will be really nice.

Right now Ryan is sleeping in his crib. I am watching him on the video monitor waiting for him to wake up. On Friday night he slept from 9:15pm to 5:15am!! It turned out to be a bit of a fluke since he is now back to his 9ish to 3 or 4ish in the morning which I am definitely not complaining about! Besides, the morning he slept until 5:15 he didn't go back to sleep, and the mornings he wakes at 3 or 4 he goes back down until 7 or so. The more I talk to new moms, the more I realize what a dream sleeper Ryan is. We still haven't attempted his crib at night, but he is napping in it during the day and is going down very easily now. Yesterday afternoon he had been asleep for 2 hours and I started trying to slowly wake him so that his feeding schedule wouldn't get too off kilter. They say never wake a sleeping baby, so I was trying to be gentle and make him think he was waking on his own!!! I un-swaddled him, turned the hall light on, started putting his laundry away, and he would not wake up!! So I let him be for a while longer, thinking about how much he must have needed that sleep. I guess we don't need to tiptoe around anymore when he is sleeping! I don't think a fire engine would have woken him at that point. Well anyway, he finally did wake, got his bottle, and proceeded to sleep the afternoon away as he got passed around during the Broncos game.

Grandma is going to babysit today while I go to the dentist. I am trying to fit in all of these appointments while I am on leave so I don't have to take more time off of work when I finally do go back. Keith is going out of town Weds-Fri this week so I will be flying solo with the little man. I am not looking forward to it! I know I can handle it, especially since Ry is so good, but it is always nice knowing that someone else is there just in case.....

Well, I hear my little prince beckoning.....

The Napster

Look at this bright eyed, happy boy!! I am very excited about this because after a rough morning of boycotting sleep, little man Ry slept for 3.5 hours this afternoon in his bassinet. I am trying to get him to nap in his big crib and he will only take cat naps. My mom said that I was a big cat napper in my day...and you know what they say about payback! So I put the bassinet in his room and he took a monster nap today. At least he was in HIS room instead of ours! Baby steps..... Well anyway, he was in a great mood when he woke up which makes me very committed to long, uninterrupted naps!

The other picture is of Keith reading his golf magazine to Ryan. He seems to like it!!!!

And thank you to Louise Leonard who gave us this cute outfit before Ryan was born. "Prince" is right!!!!!

So Much

...to be thankful for!!! We had a great Thanksgiving day at my Mom's with my parents and Jer and Ter. It has been a fabulous holiday week and I am trying to take in every moment and appreciate that I don't have to work during this busy season.

We had visits from Aunt Terese and Uncle Duke, and Ryan loved getting all of the extra attention!

On Friday, Keith put Ryan's CU Tshirt on to watch the CU play Nebraska. Aren't they cute in matching Tshirts??? Unfortunately CU lost :(

And I think Charlie is interested in applying for a babysitting job!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Ryan will be 6 weeks old on Thanksgiving Day! So far he is a great sleeper. Many of the books I have read on sleep training for babies say that they can start sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. As it stands, Ry usually goes to sleep in his bassinet between 8 and 9 pm. He will wake up twice during the night for a bottle, and then around 7 am. Keith and I have been very happy with this~ I will take one night feeding and he will take the other. Last night Ryan only woke up for one feeding, which could be a complete fluke, but could also mean that he is moving towards the goal of sleeping through the night. Wouldn't that be awesome! I do think we have a ways to go before that happens, which is really fine. I mean, he isn't even 6 weeks old yet, and Keith and I are managing to get decent sleep as it is. I have been reading feverishly about different sleeping philosophies and learning a ton about sleep for babies. Over the past couple of days we have put Ryan down for naps in his big crib in order to get him comfortable with it. He really seems to like it and has no problem spending time there. He has yet to take a nap longer than an hour in it, but baby steps!!! Soon he will be too big for his bassinet and there will be no choice!

Ryan has been very smiley lately! It is so cute. Last night when he woke up I expected him to be a bear since he hadn't eaten in almost 6 hours. Instead he was completely calm and even smiled when I picked him up. Then after his bottle he just looked at me and smiled for what seemed like minutes. We were just sitting on the glider, by the glow of his little night light, smiling at eachother like we were sharing a really good secret. It is one of the best Mommy moments that I have had so far. I guess you never know when these moments are going to pop up!

Our Little Ham

Ryan was servin' up some smiles this afternoon!

Happy Days Are Here Again!

Here is Ryan in the snuggle that Grandma Donna hand made for him. It has the softest flannel jungle print lining and organic cotton outside. Doesn't he look comfy??? Grandma Donna certainly has the touch when it comes to comforting Ry. When she is holding him all he does is soundly sleep...and always for a stretch of several hours. He definitely does not do that with Mommy or Daddy anymore! When he does fuss, she whisks him away and he is instantly happy. She has already filled his head with visions of sugar plums when she talks to him about how wonderful his first Christmas is going to be!

Curveball

Life threw us a major curveball over the last couple of days! When we left for the hospital on Wednesday morning for the barium swallow, we had no idea that Ryan would be having surgery later that afternoon. It was such a crazy day with all kinds of twists and turns. In the end everything worked out for the very best, but I must admit that it was a very stressful 24-48 hours. Here's how it unfolded....
Wednesday morning we took Ry in for his barium swallow. He drank down the barium and they x-rayed his stomach to see what was going on. The radiologist confirmed that there was acid reflux, and said that Ryan's pyloris, the valve that connects his stomach with his small intestine, seemed quite narrow. Our pediatrician had told us that pyloric stenosis was a possible diagnosis for Ryan's condition at our last appointment, but thought it wasn't all that likely. Pyloric stenosis is when that valve is too narrow for food to pass from the stomach to the small intestine. Since it can't really be digested, food stays in the stomach and eventually gets regurgitated.
Based on what the radiologist said, Dr. Murphy ordered an ultrasound and sent us to a different hospital that would be able to do it (apparently the hospital we were at couldn't). As a sidenote, Ryan threw up twice after his xray....lots of chalky barium everywhere! We were so desperate for a diagnosis! We wanted our boy to be well!
So we go to the ultrasound, and the doctors discover that Ryan's pyloris is on the threshold for what would be considered pyloric stenosis. Dr. Murphy sends us to a third hospital to meet with Dr. Liu, the pediatric GI specialist in the area, for a consultation. Keith and I are feeling extremely stressed, but also hopeful for a diagnosis and plan to get Ryan better. What we know at this point is that pyloric stenosis is somewhat common, curable by laparoscopic surgery that is usually performed within days of diagnosis, starts to appear at about 3 weeks of age, and most likely to occur in caucasion firstborn males. We also know that Ryan has almost all of the symptoms.
When we get to Edward hospital, they admitted us right away and got Ryan on an iv (one of the saddest things I have ever seen...my 4 week old son getting an iv). Dr. Liu met with us and told us he recommended surgery that afternoon. He told us that the surgery takes less than an hour, that he would go in with a scope through Ry's belly button and cut the pyloris to allow food to pass through. And that he would be eating within hours! While we were worried about our month old boy having surgery and going under anesthesia, we so badly wanted him to be able to eat!
Ryan had surgery Wednesday night and it was very successful. He is eating again and we are so relieved! We spent the night at the hospital Wednesday and he was discharged Thursday evening. What a brave little trooper he is! It was so hard for us to see him in pain, attached to his iv and recovering from surgery. We are now home and Ry is doing great. He is eating really well, has a great appetite, doesn't appear to be in much if any pain, and most importantly, keeping his food down! He does, however, fuss whenever he is put down...I think he has already learned that Mommy and Daddy are suckers! So we are holding and loving him like crazy.
The biggest piece of advice that Keith and I got before Ryan was born was to trust our instincts. We knew there was something wrong with him even though everyone, with the best of intentions, told us not to worry and that spitting up was normal for babies. We are first time parents and hardly experts, but we just knew that Ryan's symptoms were not normal. So we will continue to try to listen to that inner voice, even though it may not always point us in the right direction and may sometimes make us look like the most paranoid parents ever.
In addition, we are so thankful that Ryan's condition wasn't chronic or life threatening. Yes, surgery (especially on a month old baby) is major, but thankfully there was a cure and we can now move on. I absolutely love our pediatrician, Dr. Patricia Murphy, for taking action and getting us answers so quickly.
Thank you everyone for all of your support and concern for our boy! We are looking forward to getting back to "normal", whatever that is!

Spit Happens

Another week in Ryan's life and a new set of unique challenges! While Ryan was doing so well with his weight gain, there was a new issue brewing. Turns out he is a big time spitter! During the first two weeks of his life he did not spit up at all. In the back of my head I was thinking that he would be one of those babies that just never really spit up. Last week he really proved me wrong! After a bottle he spit up what seemed like the entire contents of the feeding (and then some!). We didn't think a whole lot of it, just changed his clothes and went on with the day. then it happened again a few hours later. I'm not talking about a little bit of spit either...I know that that is normal. I'm talking the entire contents of his bottle. I thought there might be something in my milk that didn't agree with him, or perhaps we didn't sanitize his bottle well enough and he got some kind of bug. I was afraid to feed him for fear of it happening again! We moved on and wondered if it would. It did- once the next day, once the next, etc. In addition to the spitting up he had a lot of gagging and hiccups at various times throughout the day. We called the pediatrician, and she said as long as he continued to have dirty diapers we should feel comfortable about him getting enough nutrition. So we continued on, suspecting acid reflux and being very careful with each feeding to ensure that it would stay down (stressful!). Some did, some didn't, and we started to seriously question if Ryan was gaining any weight at all with all of this nourishment escaping him on such a regular basis. So we scheduled a weight check for yesterday and it turned out that he only gained 2 ounces in one week (the goal for a baby this age is an ounce per day). We were crushed to say the least. We have been so diligent about his feeding schedule in hopes that his weight would be on track. He is not fussy, thank goodness, but I imagine he is in some discomfort with all of the gagging and spitting. He seems to be doing well otherwise, alert when he should be and still sleeping like a champ. What a little trooper he is. We are baffled! Dr. Murphy ordered a barium swallow at at the hospital for tomorrow to verify that it is acid reflux and to see if there is anything else wrong with Ryan's digestive system. Then we will go from there.
As of today, he has already had his major episode (and hopefully only). He does much better when we hold him for at least an hour after a feeding, so that is where most of our time is going these days. Right now it is 2:15 and I am finally going to take a shower! That is with Keith off today and helping out!
There is medication that babies can take to help with reflux and there is also special formula that we can give him to help. We will see! As parents, Keith and I feel so helpless and sad to see our boy struggling in any way. Please say a prayer for Ry that the reflux will resolve itself and he will continue to grow and thrive!

Ryan Wanna-Be!

Daddy and Me

They say "nap when the baby naps".....and Keith has really taken it to heart!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Big!

Our little sprout is getting big!! We went to the doctor today and Ryan gained one pound in one week!! Keith and I were very diligent about Ryan's feeding schedule and making sure that he got the nutrition he needed each day in order to gain an ounce per day over the past week as prescribed by our pediatrician. Well, our little chub gained 7 ounces and then some!! So we can let up a little on the feeding schedule knowing that he weighed in today at 8 lbs 12 ounces (his birth weight was 8lb 4oz). I can already tell that he is changing and I want to make time stand still! He has definitely gotten longer and I can see his face filling out. He can lift his head up when he is laying on your shoulder! I know that things will only get more exciting as he gets older, but I don't want my newborn baby to slip away! Every parent that has held Ryan, even the ones that still have babies, have all said how you forget how small they are when they are first born. It goes by way too fast!!

His umbilical cord stump fell off last night so now we can give him real (not sponge)baths!!

As far as any kind of nighttime routine goes, I think we have fallen into one. We feed Ryan every night around 9pm, then about every 3 hours after that. Since I am not breastfeeding, just pumping breastmilk, Ryan always gets a bottle of either milk or formula. The nice thing about it is that Keith can help with nighttime feedings! That is such a luxury, as it affords both of us the chance to sleep for a stretch of time at night. We are usually up around 6am for a bottle and for me to pump, then we all go back to sleep until about 8:30 am. Ryan sleeps very well in between feedings, so I would say on average Keith and I are sleeping 6-7 hours per night which is great for parents of a newborn!

Keith goes back to work a week from today which will be sad for our little family and our routine! We are so lucky that he had this much time off of work. We have been living in this little bubble for the past few weeks and it has been so much fun. We just move at our own pace, we generally don't have too much going on, just hanging out at home and looking after Ryan. We aren't on any schedule, and best of all, between my Mom and Teri, we haven't had to cook a meal yet! They have been so awesome about preparing meals for us and it is all about to come to an abrupt ending!! Reality is going to come quickly! I am trying to enjoy this time and take it all in. I have to return to work on January 5th- a topic that I am currently blocking out in my mind.

Happy Halloween!!

Two weeks old!

Ryan is two weeks old already and time is just flying. The days go by so quickly considering how little it seems we do!!! Here is a photo of Uncle Jer, Ryan and Curious George. Aren't they cute?

Grandma and Grandpa Brown were in town this week from Colorado to meet their new grandson and we had a great time. Grandma Berna couldn't put Ryan down! They will be back for Christmas, which will take on a new meaning for all of us this year with a little one to celebrate with.

Grandma and Grandpa B. bought Ryan a new bassinet and he is sleeping like a champ! We are getting a lot more sleep which makes a world of difference. He has slept for stretches as long as 4 hours at night! Now we are trying to rouse him every 3 hours or so at night to eat since he needs to gain weight. I gave breastfeeding a wholehearted try, but Ryan was losing too much weight. Although it was a struggle to get him to latch on and stay awake while feeding, I thought he was gaining weight. When we went to the lactation consultant the second time we realized he was losing so the pediatrician recommended we supplement with formula in addition to pumped breastmilk which I am still doing. So, we are going through a lot of bottles, but Ryan is gaining weight and still getting breastmilk which Keith and I feel very comfortable with.

While I was pregnant people kept telling me to "sleep while you can!" and "enjoy your free time!". But you don't really understand what that means until your sleep and free time are gone. It's like telling a teenager to enjoy their youth. They won't appreciate it until they are in their 30's!!! And while sleep isn't as abundant as it once was and free time will be non-existant for many years, those things have been replaced with this little life that has been entrusted to us and more love than I could have ever imagined. When I first got home from the hospital with Ryan I could not look at him without crying. That sounds bad, but as I would quickly say to Keith when he realized I was crying yet again, "Happy tears!". They were tears of joy, relief, pride, satisfaction, the realization that life is so good and that prayers do get answered. Ryan is such a miracle and was completely worth the wait. Luckily the emotions have gotten more under control, but the intense feelings of joy will always be there. I know it will only get better as Ryan gets older.


Here are some photos of the family toasting our newest member, and Grandma Berna holding her pride and joy.

Life with Ryan

He is finally here! I still can't believe it. Motherhood has been quite an adjustment so far, I am not even sure if I can organize my thoughts enough to make any sense in this entry.

First of all, it is all true....I did not know that I was capable of loving something so much. The first time i saw little Ryan, I was overcome with incredible emotion. All I kept saying was..."You are finally here! We have waited so long for you!" and I could not believe how beautiful and perfect he was.

He is so sweet, innocent and pure. Of course he is asleep most of the time, but when he is awake and looking up at me I completely melt. I feel so blessed that I have been chosen to be his mother. It is a privledge and I will do my very best to help him make his way in the world.

He is a week old now and it has been quite a week! Ryan is very good natured so far, only crying if hungry or wet. He loves to be held of course, and between my parents and Jeremy and Teri, I don't think he has spent much of his life so far not being held! They have all been so supportive, and Keith has been so helpful and hands on. He has changed most of Ryan's diapers and is Johnny on the spot when either Ryan or I need anything. We have had a lot of visitors all week, friends coming by and bringing us dinner or other goodies and we are so fortunate.

We are of course exhausted because of our new "night life"! We set up the port-o-crib in our room like a bassinet thinking that Ry would sleep there and when he needs to be fed I would whisk him up, feed him, and put him back down. Unfortunately, he doesn't feel very secure in it (my assumption since he gets very fussy within minutes of being put down) yet and hasn't spent more than a few hours total in it since we came home. So evenings consist of Keith or I taking turns holding him while he sleeps. They say you can't spoil a newborn and I know that they need to feel a sense of security in the beginning, so we don't mind. He is still a novelty to us and we love to hold him and admire anyway. But eventually the lack of sleep will catch up with us and lil' Ry will have to adjust to where he will be sleeping. Until then we will continue to spoil him and let him know that he is in good hands!

Gotta run for now but I will be back soon to share more about life with Ryan. We gave him a sponge bath today so I will sign off with a photo of our lil' peanut getting his first bath!

Crossroads

Well, he's here. All of that waiting and it only made me happier to see him for the first time. Just to let you know, he is the cutest baby ever! I'm not just saying that because he is my son, but because he actually is, the nurses all agreed and they rated him right there....

We have a snapfish account where you can go and look at the first couple of days with our son, Ryan Edward Brown. He was born at 8:10 pm and he weighed 8 lbs and 4 oz. and was 20 1/2 inches long. The link to view the photos are at the end of the blog.

Can't tell you what an unbelievable experience this was. Seeing my son being born and how tough Amy was during the birth was crazy, but seeing the joy in Amy when she saw Ryan, and hearing Ryan's little cry was a feeling like no other. You know when fathers say that their greatest day was the one where their son was born? Believe it. It's not cliche.

Amy and I are getting ready to take him home. He was circumcised, so his manhood is a little sore but he is great. Doesn't cry except when I change a dirty diaper. So far, it doesn't smell but I am told that will change. Can't wait :)

The title of the blog had some special meaning, since I was talking to my brother in law and he recognized the completion of a long journey that had started 4 years ago when Amy and I first started the process of having a child. While I had thought about that on and off all throughout the day, one thought kept coming up, and that was the fact that as one journey is nearing completion, a new longer and more rewarding journey is about to begin. It's not the end of the road, but the beginning of another long adventure. Can't wait...

You can view our photos at the following link: http://www1.snapfish.com/launchslideshow/AlbumID=246446848/SUBSCRIBER_NAME=SNAPFISH/EntryIDX=1/t_=143129757

An End (or Beginning!) in Sight

No baby yet! But some developments since last week....
At my Dr's appt on Friday we discovered that my blood pressure was on the high side. It has been perfect and consistent during the entire pregnancy, so when it was elevated last week my Dr. took notice. After I laid down for a while at the office, they took it again and it had dropped to my normal level which was a relief. I guess at this point in pregnancy (full term!!! 40 weeks! I CANNOT believe it) it is common for blood pressure to fluctate like that and is okay as long as it does go down with rest. So...she told me to take it easy over the weekend and come back Monday to recheck my blood pressure and do a non-stress test on the baby. So as of today, my blood pressure was a bit higher than my usual, but still in the normal range and the stress test showed that the baby is doing well, his heartbeat is nice and strong and he is in no distress! I have started dilating (around 3cm), the baby's head is facing down, and it is all systems go! Because of some fluctuation in blood pressure for me and since I have started dilating, the Dr's don't want me to go more than a week past my due date and told us to choose the day this week that I want to be induced! Keith and I agreed that we would like to give it a little time for labor to start on it's own but we don't want to wait beyond this weekend so Thursday it is! I would really be happy if it would start in the next couple of days naturally, but I do have to say that I don't want to mess with high blood pressure or putting the baby in any kind of danger by waiting too long so I am happy to be induced on Thursday. Should be interesting! My Mom's birthday is on Friday, so we will see if little James Brown will have his birthday the day before Grandma's or share a birthday with Grandma (which I am sure she would not mind!)

Since I didn't go into work last Friday, that was the first official day of my maternity leave. I hate to have started it a whole week before the baby is here (one less week with him at the end), but there is no way I could work this week. I am having a hard time just walking around! I know when I am out and about which is rare these days, people are looking at me pitifully! Although this has been an easy pregnancy overall, eventually I will be glad to be back to my normal self and get in better physical shape to start my new career as a busy mom!!!! I can't wait.

Everyone is telling me to enjoy these last few days of quiet and freedom. I was just thinking, that right now, while I have no work obligations until January, and a few days until the baby arrives, this could be the last time I feel freedom like this for 20 or so years!!!!!!! I truly can take advantage of laying on the couch, napping at will, etc. While that will get old for me in a day or two, I plan to make the most of it! Although I would also like to take some long walks since that is said to induce labor and the weather has been beautiful, I will be a bit restricted to shorter ones that my back can tolerate!

The other time will be spent trying to wrap my head around the fact that this weekend Keith and I will be parents. It is so hard to imagine, but I know once he is here, it will be difficult to remember what we did before. I feel so lucky to be able to embrace this time, to "stop and smell the roses" so to speak before all hell breaks loose!

so close, yet so far

I cannot believe that it is October 7! My due date is technically one week from today, yet I have this inkling that the baby won't actually be born until after that! Just a feeling. Although I can feel the baby getting lower, I haven't visibly "dropped", and I guess I just don't feel like the baby is in a hurry to greet the world yet! But who knows.

I still feel really great with one exception. My lower back is killing me! I think I must have tweaked something...it is not ache-y like women describe as back labor, but just hurts when I walk, giving me the oh so common "waddle" that many pregnant women sport. That is my only complaint...I am sleeping pretty well, I don't feel as "big as a house" yet, I do have energy throughout the day and a VERY hearty appetite! Oh, about the sleeping thing....I guess I have been snoring quite a bit......well...... a whole lot, and poor Keith isn't sleeping well at all. On most mornings I find him in the guest bed with Charlie. I have been trying to curb my snoring by sleeping with different pillow configurations and such- sometimes it works and sometimes not. He is being a great sport about it while making it very clear that it had better stop after the baby is born!!!! If nothing else, I guess the sleep deprivation will get him used to having a newborn around!

The weather is definitely changing and I am finding that I have nothing warm to wear!!! My biggest maternity clothes are all quite summery. I do have a couple of maternity sweaters that I am wearing over and over; I just can't bring myself to buy anything new for just a couple of weeks. Keith's sweatshirts are fitting me the best, so they will have to do for now!

Keith's birthday is on Friday, so Happy Birthday Keith!!! This will surely be his most memorable year so far......

The Calm before the Storm...

Well, it's Friday and we are in October. Now when people ask me how long until the due date, I don't have to add the month. "Why, it's the 14th...". It's crazy. I can't explain how I feel right now, sort of a quiet anticipation, anxious feeling. See, I told you I can't explain it...

I must admit that my spiritual knowledge is somewhat limited, but I experienced something that I can't readily explain during this past year. When Amy was first trying to get pregnant, I remember spending some time in church praying for this miracle and one prayer in particular went to St. Teresa. Apparently, St. Teresa acknowledges her intercession with flowers, or specifically roses where they are not normally found. Last week, as I was working in the backyard, I noticed our rose bush near the gate. This rose bush was all but dead about 2 weeks ago but now, had three amazing pink roses on it. Like I said, I can't explain it, but maybe this is the explanation. In any event, we are about to realize that miracle that I prayed for 9 months earlier. Pretty cool...

Golf season is winding down for me, and I have one more tee time planned this Saturday at Cog Hill. We get to go out and play the back nine and experience the changes made over the course of the year. My friend Jason set this up and it's a great way to end the golf season. I should be ready for the next golf season, which should start sometime in 2020, according to everyone that I have talked to :) Actually, I am hoping to get out next season and hit the links next year. A guy can dream, can't he?

11 days! It hits me every now and then. Every time Amy calls, a part of me will be expecting loud screaming and the call to go to the hospital. To think, the next blog I'll be typing will be during my boy's nap!!!

Abstract Thoughts

Now that we have everything ready for the baby in a physical sense, I am trying to prepare myself mentally. I am trying to wrap my head around the idea of being a mother. All of my mom friends tell me that your heart expands tenfold, that you have never felt love like you will for your child, that they fill a space that you never even knew was empty. I am trying to grasp those concepts but know deep down that I won't until I actually meet my son. The only thing that comes close for me is falling in love with Keith. I always knew he was out there. I knew that there was someone who would complement me; someone who would make everything worthwhile and bring a whole new joy to my life. I didn't know who he was or what he would look like, he was more of an abstraction in my mind, but he was always there (I know, it's soooo cliche!). Now that he is my husband I can't imagine him not being a part of my life and don't completely remember a time that he wasn't there. I imagine having a baby will be very similar to this feeling, only it will be a million times stronger. I am so excited to experience it and want to savor each and every moment.

I am also trying to mentally prepare for the experience of childbirth. I don't want to just stumble into it when it happens and fall apart because I am tense and in pain. These are 5 things that I am going to try to remember:
1) Trust- I need to trust and realize that I can't control many aspects of what is happening to me. I can't control how my body responds to labor...it may go quickly or it may last more than a day or end up a C-section. I can't control how the baby responds....he might be positioned perfectly or he might decide to turn at the last minute! I just need to trust- God, the doctors and nurses, Keith, and myself so that I can focus and know that I will make the best decisions about the things I can control.
2) Relax- One of the most important things I learned at childbirth class was to try to relax as much as possible. Surely it can't be easy when you are in great pain and experiencing something that you have never done before. But they say that if you are tense it leads to more pain which leads to more tension and it becomes a vicious cycle that can slow the whole process down! I will do the best I can to breathe and focus.
3) End Result- think of the end result which will motivate me to hang in there during the rough times!
4) Experience- I am so thankful to be able to have this experience. Some women who get pregnant very easily don't even realize how lucky they are to have the opportunity to experience such a miraculous thing. For a long time I thought I may never get a chance to feel a baby moving around inside me or know what it is like to give birth. If I can remember what a priveledge it is to have this experience even during the roughest times I know that will help me to get through it.
5) Temporary- The pain and discomfort of it all is a temporary thing and at some point will be over!
Wish us luck!

Update

I had a Dr's appointment today and not much to report. My blood pressure is right on, which is relieving since my swollen hands and "cankles" are now part of daily life. Very attractive! I always thought that all you had to do was drink more water and the swelling would go away. Not true! Other than that, I am right on schedule for where I am in the pregnancy. I am starting to dilate but am not quite at 1 cm and so far the baby is head down. I know that can all change rather quickly, but this is where we stand today!
It is one of our last weekends of "freedom". I am so excited for the fall, partly because the baby will be here and partly because it is my favorite season. We will be doing some entertaining on Sunday- an afternoon Broncos game with the Schallmosers and then dinner with my family in the evening. I am really looking forward to it because I feel great and want to do some hosting while I can still make that my sole focus. Saturday will be full of errands and household activities. Keith is steam cleaning the carpets as we speak (they do say that dads-to-be get that nesting instinct too~ and he is doing this purely out of his own will, not any prodding on my part) and I am going to tackle some fun projects like cleaning out/scrubbing the fridge and bathrooms.
I had a dream about the baby last week and it is actually the first one that I have had with the baby in it. I have had a lot of pregnancy dreams, but this is the first one that the baby has made an appearance in. We were leaving the hospital with him and just staring at him in admiration. I kept asking Keith if he could believe that our baby was finally here. He had a lot of brown hair! Then the nurse was telling me what a good patient I was! It was a very positive dream and I currently don't really have any anxiety about childbirth. My only source of anxiety right now is that the baby is completely healthy. And I know that motherly worrying will only continue until he is a grown man!

Rainy Day Fun

"Tiny miracle, with your little baby heart beating............everybody loves you, and we don't even know who you are."

I don't really know who came up with that quote-

it was on one of the cards that I received for a shower gift, but I really love it. There is so little that we know about this baby so far, but one thing that I know for sure is how much he is loved already!

Last Sunday was our family shower thrown by my Mom, Donna and sister-in-law, Teri. Unfortunately, these are the only 3 photos that I have on my camera to share. All of the other ones are on my Mom's camera and sadly I don't have the right equipment to download those from my computer. Otherwise there would be one of Teri too, that cute and multi-talented little redhead!

Anyway, the shower was beautiful. There was no detail overlooked, and everything from the food to the flowers was perfect. The best part about it was the company. We don't have a lot of extended family, so many of the guests were close family friends- women who have known me since I was a little girl. Also present were some of my closest girlfriends from junior high to college, and my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jack from South Bend who drove 5 hours in the rain (normally a 2 hour trip) to be here. It was a whirlwind of chatting and catching up and for me, a joyful time of celebration. The cake that you see was made by "Mrs. Anderson" (I don't even know her first name). She has made cakes for me since the age of 12 for birthdays, graduations and all celebrations in between. Teri made sugar cookie favors of teddy bears with icing diapers along with a couple of other baked goodies and they were to die for!

We received absolutely everything we need for this baby! Strollers, swings, bouncy chairs, high chairs, play gyms....you name it, we are ready! My Mom crocheted a beautiful hooded blanket lined with the cutest fabric inside. It is so special and I will include a photo of it in a future blog. I don't know when she had time to do it, but I know it was a labor of love!

A good time was had by all. It was a very rainy day thanks to the aftermath of hurricane Ike that we finally got, but still a great day. Keith was there in the beginning to say hello but had to leave to catch a flight to Denver- his last trip until the baby arrives. "The next time I go to Denver I will be a Dad!" he said before he left. This is truly such a time of wonderful anticipation and we are trying to balance it with living in the now- enjoying our lives as a twosome as much as we can until 2 turns to 3!