Abstract Thoughts

Now that we have everything ready for the baby in a physical sense, I am trying to prepare myself mentally. I am trying to wrap my head around the idea of being a mother. All of my mom friends tell me that your heart expands tenfold, that you have never felt love like you will for your child, that they fill a space that you never even knew was empty. I am trying to grasp those concepts but know deep down that I won't until I actually meet my son. The only thing that comes close for me is falling in love with Keith. I always knew he was out there. I knew that there was someone who would complement me; someone who would make everything worthwhile and bring a whole new joy to my life. I didn't know who he was or what he would look like, he was more of an abstraction in my mind, but he was always there (I know, it's soooo cliche!). Now that he is my husband I can't imagine him not being a part of my life and don't completely remember a time that he wasn't there. I imagine having a baby will be very similar to this feeling, only it will be a million times stronger. I am so excited to experience it and want to savor each and every moment.

I am also trying to mentally prepare for the experience of childbirth. I don't want to just stumble into it when it happens and fall apart because I am tense and in pain. These are 5 things that I am going to try to remember:
1) Trust- I need to trust and realize that I can't control many aspects of what is happening to me. I can't control how my body responds to labor...it may go quickly or it may last more than a day or end up a C-section. I can't control how the baby responds....he might be positioned perfectly or he might decide to turn at the last minute! I just need to trust- God, the doctors and nurses, Keith, and myself so that I can focus and know that I will make the best decisions about the things I can control.
2) Relax- One of the most important things I learned at childbirth class was to try to relax as much as possible. Surely it can't be easy when you are in great pain and experiencing something that you have never done before. But they say that if you are tense it leads to more pain which leads to more tension and it becomes a vicious cycle that can slow the whole process down! I will do the best I can to breathe and focus.
3) End Result- think of the end result which will motivate me to hang in there during the rough times!
4) Experience- I am so thankful to be able to have this experience. Some women who get pregnant very easily don't even realize how lucky they are to have the opportunity to experience such a miraculous thing. For a long time I thought I may never get a chance to feel a baby moving around inside me or know what it is like to give birth. If I can remember what a priveledge it is to have this experience even during the roughest times I know that will help me to get through it.
5) Temporary- The pain and discomfort of it all is a temporary thing and at some point will be over!
Wish us luck!