Two weeks old!

Ryan is two weeks old already and time is just flying. The days go by so quickly considering how little it seems we do!!! Here is a photo of Uncle Jer, Ryan and Curious George. Aren't they cute?

Grandma and Grandpa Brown were in town this week from Colorado to meet their new grandson and we had a great time. Grandma Berna couldn't put Ryan down! They will be back for Christmas, which will take on a new meaning for all of us this year with a little one to celebrate with.

Grandma and Grandpa B. bought Ryan a new bassinet and he is sleeping like a champ! We are getting a lot more sleep which makes a world of difference. He has slept for stretches as long as 4 hours at night! Now we are trying to rouse him every 3 hours or so at night to eat since he needs to gain weight. I gave breastfeeding a wholehearted try, but Ryan was losing too much weight. Although it was a struggle to get him to latch on and stay awake while feeding, I thought he was gaining weight. When we went to the lactation consultant the second time we realized he was losing so the pediatrician recommended we supplement with formula in addition to pumped breastmilk which I am still doing. So, we are going through a lot of bottles, but Ryan is gaining weight and still getting breastmilk which Keith and I feel very comfortable with.

While I was pregnant people kept telling me to "sleep while you can!" and "enjoy your free time!". But you don't really understand what that means until your sleep and free time are gone. It's like telling a teenager to enjoy their youth. They won't appreciate it until they are in their 30's!!! And while sleep isn't as abundant as it once was and free time will be non-existant for many years, those things have been replaced with this little life that has been entrusted to us and more love than I could have ever imagined. When I first got home from the hospital with Ryan I could not look at him without crying. That sounds bad, but as I would quickly say to Keith when he realized I was crying yet again, "Happy tears!". They were tears of joy, relief, pride, satisfaction, the realization that life is so good and that prayers do get answered. Ryan is such a miracle and was completely worth the wait. Luckily the emotions have gotten more under control, but the intense feelings of joy will always be there. I know it will only get better as Ryan gets older.


Here are some photos of the family toasting our newest member, and Grandma Berna holding her pride and joy.

Life with Ryan

He is finally here! I still can't believe it. Motherhood has been quite an adjustment so far, I am not even sure if I can organize my thoughts enough to make any sense in this entry.

First of all, it is all true....I did not know that I was capable of loving something so much. The first time i saw little Ryan, I was overcome with incredible emotion. All I kept saying was..."You are finally here! We have waited so long for you!" and I could not believe how beautiful and perfect he was.

He is so sweet, innocent and pure. Of course he is asleep most of the time, but when he is awake and looking up at me I completely melt. I feel so blessed that I have been chosen to be his mother. It is a privledge and I will do my very best to help him make his way in the world.

He is a week old now and it has been quite a week! Ryan is very good natured so far, only crying if hungry or wet. He loves to be held of course, and between my parents and Jeremy and Teri, I don't think he has spent much of his life so far not being held! They have all been so supportive, and Keith has been so helpful and hands on. He has changed most of Ryan's diapers and is Johnny on the spot when either Ryan or I need anything. We have had a lot of visitors all week, friends coming by and bringing us dinner or other goodies and we are so fortunate.

We are of course exhausted because of our new "night life"! We set up the port-o-crib in our room like a bassinet thinking that Ry would sleep there and when he needs to be fed I would whisk him up, feed him, and put him back down. Unfortunately, he doesn't feel very secure in it (my assumption since he gets very fussy within minutes of being put down) yet and hasn't spent more than a few hours total in it since we came home. So evenings consist of Keith or I taking turns holding him while he sleeps. They say you can't spoil a newborn and I know that they need to feel a sense of security in the beginning, so we don't mind. He is still a novelty to us and we love to hold him and admire anyway. But eventually the lack of sleep will catch up with us and lil' Ry will have to adjust to where he will be sleeping. Until then we will continue to spoil him and let him know that he is in good hands!

Gotta run for now but I will be back soon to share more about life with Ryan. We gave him a sponge bath today so I will sign off with a photo of our lil' peanut getting his first bath!

Crossroads

Well, he's here. All of that waiting and it only made me happier to see him for the first time. Just to let you know, he is the cutest baby ever! I'm not just saying that because he is my son, but because he actually is, the nurses all agreed and they rated him right there....

We have a snapfish account where you can go and look at the first couple of days with our son, Ryan Edward Brown. He was born at 8:10 pm and he weighed 8 lbs and 4 oz. and was 20 1/2 inches long. The link to view the photos are at the end of the blog.

Can't tell you what an unbelievable experience this was. Seeing my son being born and how tough Amy was during the birth was crazy, but seeing the joy in Amy when she saw Ryan, and hearing Ryan's little cry was a feeling like no other. You know when fathers say that their greatest day was the one where their son was born? Believe it. It's not cliche.

Amy and I are getting ready to take him home. He was circumcised, so his manhood is a little sore but he is great. Doesn't cry except when I change a dirty diaper. So far, it doesn't smell but I am told that will change. Can't wait :)

The title of the blog had some special meaning, since I was talking to my brother in law and he recognized the completion of a long journey that had started 4 years ago when Amy and I first started the process of having a child. While I had thought about that on and off all throughout the day, one thought kept coming up, and that was the fact that as one journey is nearing completion, a new longer and more rewarding journey is about to begin. It's not the end of the road, but the beginning of another long adventure. Can't wait...

You can view our photos at the following link: http://www1.snapfish.com/launchslideshow/AlbumID=246446848/SUBSCRIBER_NAME=SNAPFISH/EntryIDX=1/t_=143129757

An End (or Beginning!) in Sight

No baby yet! But some developments since last week....
At my Dr's appt on Friday we discovered that my blood pressure was on the high side. It has been perfect and consistent during the entire pregnancy, so when it was elevated last week my Dr. took notice. After I laid down for a while at the office, they took it again and it had dropped to my normal level which was a relief. I guess at this point in pregnancy (full term!!! 40 weeks! I CANNOT believe it) it is common for blood pressure to fluctate like that and is okay as long as it does go down with rest. So...she told me to take it easy over the weekend and come back Monday to recheck my blood pressure and do a non-stress test on the baby. So as of today, my blood pressure was a bit higher than my usual, but still in the normal range and the stress test showed that the baby is doing well, his heartbeat is nice and strong and he is in no distress! I have started dilating (around 3cm), the baby's head is facing down, and it is all systems go! Because of some fluctuation in blood pressure for me and since I have started dilating, the Dr's don't want me to go more than a week past my due date and told us to choose the day this week that I want to be induced! Keith and I agreed that we would like to give it a little time for labor to start on it's own but we don't want to wait beyond this weekend so Thursday it is! I would really be happy if it would start in the next couple of days naturally, but I do have to say that I don't want to mess with high blood pressure or putting the baby in any kind of danger by waiting too long so I am happy to be induced on Thursday. Should be interesting! My Mom's birthday is on Friday, so we will see if little James Brown will have his birthday the day before Grandma's or share a birthday with Grandma (which I am sure she would not mind!)

Since I didn't go into work last Friday, that was the first official day of my maternity leave. I hate to have started it a whole week before the baby is here (one less week with him at the end), but there is no way I could work this week. I am having a hard time just walking around! I know when I am out and about which is rare these days, people are looking at me pitifully! Although this has been an easy pregnancy overall, eventually I will be glad to be back to my normal self and get in better physical shape to start my new career as a busy mom!!!! I can't wait.

Everyone is telling me to enjoy these last few days of quiet and freedom. I was just thinking, that right now, while I have no work obligations until January, and a few days until the baby arrives, this could be the last time I feel freedom like this for 20 or so years!!!!!!! I truly can take advantage of laying on the couch, napping at will, etc. While that will get old for me in a day or two, I plan to make the most of it! Although I would also like to take some long walks since that is said to induce labor and the weather has been beautiful, I will be a bit restricted to shorter ones that my back can tolerate!

The other time will be spent trying to wrap my head around the fact that this weekend Keith and I will be parents. It is so hard to imagine, but I know once he is here, it will be difficult to remember what we did before. I feel so lucky to be able to embrace this time, to "stop and smell the roses" so to speak before all hell breaks loose!

so close, yet so far

I cannot believe that it is October 7! My due date is technically one week from today, yet I have this inkling that the baby won't actually be born until after that! Just a feeling. Although I can feel the baby getting lower, I haven't visibly "dropped", and I guess I just don't feel like the baby is in a hurry to greet the world yet! But who knows.

I still feel really great with one exception. My lower back is killing me! I think I must have tweaked something...it is not ache-y like women describe as back labor, but just hurts when I walk, giving me the oh so common "waddle" that many pregnant women sport. That is my only complaint...I am sleeping pretty well, I don't feel as "big as a house" yet, I do have energy throughout the day and a VERY hearty appetite! Oh, about the sleeping thing....I guess I have been snoring quite a bit......well...... a whole lot, and poor Keith isn't sleeping well at all. On most mornings I find him in the guest bed with Charlie. I have been trying to curb my snoring by sleeping with different pillow configurations and such- sometimes it works and sometimes not. He is being a great sport about it while making it very clear that it had better stop after the baby is born!!!! If nothing else, I guess the sleep deprivation will get him used to having a newborn around!

The weather is definitely changing and I am finding that I have nothing warm to wear!!! My biggest maternity clothes are all quite summery. I do have a couple of maternity sweaters that I am wearing over and over; I just can't bring myself to buy anything new for just a couple of weeks. Keith's sweatshirts are fitting me the best, so they will have to do for now!

Keith's birthday is on Friday, so Happy Birthday Keith!!! This will surely be his most memorable year so far......

The Calm before the Storm...

Well, it's Friday and we are in October. Now when people ask me how long until the due date, I don't have to add the month. "Why, it's the 14th...". It's crazy. I can't explain how I feel right now, sort of a quiet anticipation, anxious feeling. See, I told you I can't explain it...

I must admit that my spiritual knowledge is somewhat limited, but I experienced something that I can't readily explain during this past year. When Amy was first trying to get pregnant, I remember spending some time in church praying for this miracle and one prayer in particular went to St. Teresa. Apparently, St. Teresa acknowledges her intercession with flowers, or specifically roses where they are not normally found. Last week, as I was working in the backyard, I noticed our rose bush near the gate. This rose bush was all but dead about 2 weeks ago but now, had three amazing pink roses on it. Like I said, I can't explain it, but maybe this is the explanation. In any event, we are about to realize that miracle that I prayed for 9 months earlier. Pretty cool...

Golf season is winding down for me, and I have one more tee time planned this Saturday at Cog Hill. We get to go out and play the back nine and experience the changes made over the course of the year. My friend Jason set this up and it's a great way to end the golf season. I should be ready for the next golf season, which should start sometime in 2020, according to everyone that I have talked to :) Actually, I am hoping to get out next season and hit the links next year. A guy can dream, can't he?

11 days! It hits me every now and then. Every time Amy calls, a part of me will be expecting loud screaming and the call to go to the hospital. To think, the next blog I'll be typing will be during my boy's nap!!!