My Hero

This is a photo of one of my dearest friends, Megan. As many of you know, Megan was diagnosed with leukemia almost a year ago. She has been on my mind constantly over the past month or so for a variety of reasons. She is on my mind especially today because it is her son Michael's first birthday and also because it is Mother's day week.

The past month has been particularly challenging for Megan and her family. I will try to give the short version. About six weeks ago, Megan was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. Since she has no immune system, even in the hospital on strong antibiotics and steroids she was unable to fight the infection and fever. She had too much difficulty breathing on her own and was put on a breathing tube as a temporary solution until she could get strong enough to breathe on her own. Since the breathing tube is so agitating, she was also sedated to help her tolerate it. Days, then weeks went by with little improvement. Her fever was not breaking, she was too weak to fight pneumonia or breathe on her own, and meanwhile she is "sleeping", unable to communicate with family and friends...most notably and tragically, her children, ages 3 and now 1.

We were all on pins and needles waiting to hear when she would gain strength and start to recover. Days passed~ Easter, Mason's third birthday, Mikey's first steps..the days slowly went by without Megan even knowing. I will never forget the Wednesday, two weeks ago today, that I heard unbelievable news from Megan's family. For a variety of reasons, the doctors didn't think Megan had more than a couple of days to live. They recommended that her family and closest friends come to the hospital right away~ and we all did. We filled up the waiting rooms and declared the day "Rally Day". Nobody likes a rally more than Megan. As much as we were saying goodbye to a beautiful friend, mother, wife, daughter, and sister, we were also holding on to the miracle, any thread of hope that Megan might pull through. Her husband Tony spoke as though that was the only option. I have never had the heartwrenching experience of saying goodbye to friend like that before. It was sad and scary. She did not look even remotely like the Megan that I knew. She looked like a stranger. I had to look at the collage of family photos that wallpapered her hospital room to remember what the old Megan looked like. And since she was so heavily sedated, she had no idea any of us were even there. Or did she?

As fate would have it, Megan did start making small improvements. Very shortly after Rally Day, her fever broke. Her liver and kidneys started functioning again. She started taking baby steps and making improvements that shocked even her doctors. In short, she is still alive!!!!!! That in and of itself is a miracle! She is still sedated and on breathing tubes but she is alive and getting better! Obviously there is a long road ahead of her. This week they hope to remove the breathing tubes. they will evaluate her from there. Another huge ray of hope is that she is still on the donor list for her bone marrow transplant. So this is still a possibility for her future and is ultimately what will get her healthy and hopefully cancer free forever.

I think of Megan all the time. I think about what we will tell her when she wakes up. I think about how hard she is fighting for her life and I know that it is all for Tony and her boys, her babies. She loves life. There is no way that she is ready to let it go. I think about how she will feel when she realizes that over a month has gone by and she has been asleep the entire time. It is sad, and yet she still has her life. I often wonder why this is happening to her, and not me, or anyone else that I know. Why did God pick her? When I want to complain about my own life, like how I don't get to spend as much time as i would like with Ryan, i think about her, and how she missed Mason's third and Michael's first birthdays. She missed Michael's first steps and who knows how many other milestones. It makes me incredibly sad. But she is alive and there is a lot of hope, which is cause for celebration. I don't think i will ever figure any of this out but i do know that she has been given a second chance.

Happy Mother's Day to one hell of a strong Mom. If I can be half as strong in life as Megan I will consider myself lucky. I look forward to the day when I can tell her that in person.